The blog message for today deals with something that all Christians find themselves struggling with at some point in their lives – confronting another person because of their actions toward you.
Usually, when people are confronted for something that they have done, they become indignant. They may say things like: “Who do you think you are?” or “Why are you coming up in my face with that?”
Well, listen to a response that you could give back to them.
“I’m in your face because I love you as a brother or sister in Christ and I want you to know the conduct you are demonstrating is not becoming of you. You say you are a child of God, well, therefore, you should know better.”
”Stop using those curse words when you speak to me. Stop getting drunk every time you want to have some fun. Stop trying to go to bed with every woman or man who comes your way. Stop using people to get what you want. Stop telling lies to cover up your mistakes. Stop cheating on your wife or husband and stop abusing your kids and start being who you say you are; a born-again believer in Jesus Christ.”
Well, this type of confrontation is rare between people of faith. We have come to a point where we think this kind of interaction is not Christian.
But let me remind you that confrontation is necessary for the life of a Christian. Without confrontation, spiritual growth and maturation will not happen in one’s life.
Confrontation defined is the state of being confronted. As a face to face meeting; the clashing of forces or ideas or comparisons.
It is not defined as a negative or positive process. It is just a process where ideas may clash, comparisons may clash, or opposing forces may clash. It’s just a face to face meeting.
People have come to understand confrontation only from the outcome they take away from that face to face meeting. Since many Christians do not like having someone tell them of their shortcomings or their faults or their idiosyncrasies, it’s difficult for them to see the process of confrontation as anything else but negative or not Christian. Their reactions are usually defensive and counteracting. Very rarely do they come away with edification or new insight into themselves.
As born-again believers in Jesus Christ, you are mandated in Scripture to confront your brother or sister to facilitate spiritual growth and maturation when they’ve offended you. So, be thankful that you find me up in your face. I love you with the love of Christ and want you to grow to maturity.
In the Scriptures, the word “rebuke” is the biblical word used instead of “confront”.
When someone offends you according to Matthew 18:15, it is your responsibility to have a face to face meeting with them. A “rebuke” in other words.
Listen to the scriptural reasoning for the necessity of this rebuke:
15If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. Matthew 18:15 (NIV)
You see, even though you have been offended by them, you are still responsible to go to them and show them their fault. Something that is very difficult for many Christians to do.
But you go to them because you love them as a believer in Christ. You go to them because you have faith in Christ that they will be convicted of their fault and confess their transgression. And you go to them because it’s your duty in Christ.
We are told in Proverbs 28:23 (NIV) that:
23He who rebukes a man will, in the end, gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue.
Also in Proverbs 27:5 (NIV) we are told:
5Better is open rebuke than hidden love.
Therefore, you do not rebuke them with your desire to avenge yourself, or your desire to get payback. You rebuke them to win them over, to help them grow, to help restore the breach that they’ve made with you, and to show them the mercy of God.
Now there’s one last thing I want to add. If you ever truly want to understand what it means to crucify your flesh, being offended is a good place to start.
Following an offense, your flesh will rise up and take over every emotion you have to justify itself or avenge itself. Your flesh will present very convincing arguments to win you over to resentment, bitterness, anger, rage, etc. if you do not crucify it.
Since it is the proclivity of man to sin against his brother, it is then from the crucible of offense that you learn to be truly merciful to your offender. You learn what it truly means to rely on your faith in Christ to crucify your flesh and to heal you from your hurt.
Wisdom Nugget – It is in the crucible of offense where you learn what the true meaning of forgiveness is.